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Acknowledgments | |
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Preface | |
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...from Lynn Dickinson | |
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...from Xenia Vosen | |
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Introduction | |
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Why We Wrote This Book | |
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Who This Book Is For | |
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How to Read This Book | |
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Making the Long-Term-Care Decision | |
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Stepping into New Territory | |
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Why We Feel So Bad about Nursing Homes | |
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What We Mean When We Say "Nursing Home" | |
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What We Mean When We Say "You" | |
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Some Assumptions | |
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The Phone Call That Will Change Your Life | |
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Here Come the Changes! | |
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Making Friends with Change | |
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Exercise: Determining Your Personal Change-Related Stress Level | |
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It's Bigger than We Are: Changes in Society That Have Affected Aging and Culture | |
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Why Things Are Different for Our Generation | |
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Comparison: Then and Now | |
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Past Ways of Caring | |
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Coping with Longevity | |
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Improvements in Living Conditions | |
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What Long-Term Care Really Looks Like | |
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The Home-Care Instinct | |
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Home Care as a First Impulse | |
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What Does "Home" Mean? | |
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Exercise: What Does "Home" Mean? | |
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Your Loved One's Condition | |
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Your Energy Level | |
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The Need for Community | |
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The Economics of Home Care | |
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Serving Others Versus Serving Yourself: Finding the Balance | |
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A Note about Senior Day Care | |
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Exercise: Are You Ready for Home Care? | |
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Maybe We'll Just Give It a Try... | |
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Your Feelings Matter More than You May Think | |
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Your Feelings Determine Your Experience | |
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The Nature of Emotions | |
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What You May Be Feeling about the Nursing Home Decision | |
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Emotional Soup | |
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Exercise: Understanding Your Mix of Emotions | |
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You've Decided ... Now What? | |
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Finding the Right Nursing Home | |
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A Change in Abilities Calls for a Change in Living Arrangements | |
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Different Kinds of Long-Term-Care Facilities | |
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What Kind of Care Does My Parent Need? | |
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Beginning the Search | |
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Location: Finding Nursing Homes in Your (or Your Parent's) Area | |
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Size of the Nursing Home | |
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Who Owns the Nursing Home? | |
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Paying for the Nursing Home | |
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Facilities and Services | |
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The Nursing Home Staff | |
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Your First Visit | |
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Facility Checklist | |
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Taking Your Parent with You when You Visit | |
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Waiting Lists | |
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Once You've Found a Facility You Like | |
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Talking It Over with Your Parent | |
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Preparing Clothing and Other Possessions | |
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Keeping Your Parent's House or Apartment | |
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Moving In and Feeling at Home Are Two Different Things | |
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The First Day | |
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Making the Most of Life in a Nursing Home | |
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A Day in the Life of a Nursing Home | |
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What Around-the-Clock Care Looks Like | |
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A Day in the Life of a Nursing Home Aide | |
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A Day in the Life of Some Nursing Home Residents | |
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A Day in the Life of a Nursing Home Director | |
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Staying in Touch with Your Loved One Who Lives in a Nursing Home | |
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When to Visit | |
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How Often to Visit | |
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How Long to Visit | |
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How Many People to Take when You Visit | |
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What to Do During Your Visit | |
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You Know More than You Think You Do | |
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Special Activities for Staying in Touch | |
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How to Celebrate the Holidays when Your Parent Lives in a Nursing Home | |
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Managing Common Conflicts in a Nursing Home | |
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Conflicts Between Residents and Family Members | |
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Conflicts Between Residents (or, the Battle of the Wheelchairs) | |
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Conflicts Between Residents and Staff | |
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Conflicts Between Family Members and Staff | |
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Conflicts Between Family Members Other than the Resident | |
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Conflicts Within Yourself | |
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Working with the Nursing Home Staff | |
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Communication in General | |
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Showing Your Appreciation | |
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Offering Critical Feedback | |
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Can't Get No Satisfaction: What to Do when You Have a Complaint | |
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Other Important Things to Know | |
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Dehydration | |
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Addictions | |
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Dementia | |
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Sexuality | |
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Laundry Complaints (or, Nobody Is Stealing Your Mother's Underwear) | |
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Money | |
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Housekeeping | |
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The Use of Restraints | |
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Changing Institutions | |
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Saying Goodbye: Leaving the Nursing Home | |
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Special Goodbyes | |
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In Conclusion | |
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Recommended Reading | |
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Bibliography | |
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Resources | |
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Authors' Website | |
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For General Information and Statistics on Aging | |
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To Locate and Research Nursing Homes | |
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For Long-Term-Care Information and Advocacy | |
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To Contact State Agencies | |
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To Report a Case of Elder Abuse | |
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For Caregivers | |
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Online Support for All Issues Faced by Adult Children of Elderly Parents | |
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To Learn Skills for Interpersonal Communication and Emotional Literacy | |
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Index | |