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| Note to the New Edition | |
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| Introduction: Navigating the Journey of Lesbian Parenting | |
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| Our Lives as Lesbian Families | |
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| We're Here to Stay: Our Unique Families | |
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| What's It Like Being a Lesbian Family? | |
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| Structure and Language | |
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| Coming Out | |
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| The Strengths of Our Families | |
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| A Challenge to Sexism | |
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| Egalitarian Arrangements | |
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| More Room at the Table | |
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| A Wide Support Network | |
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| A Broader Perspective | |
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| Our Evolving Families | |
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| Starting Out: Alternative Insemination, Foster-Parenting and Adoption | |
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| Children--To Have or Not to Have? | |
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| Pregnancy via Alternative Insemination | |
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| An Insemination "Prep Talk" | |
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| A Word About HIV and AIDS | |
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| The Great Lesbian Sperm Chase | |
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| A.I. with a Known Donor | |
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| Romancing the Syringe: At-Home Insemination | |
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| Getting Pregnant the Old-Fashioned Way | |
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| When You Can't Conceive | |
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| Foster-Parenting | |
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| Loving and Letting Go | |
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| Adoption | |
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| Crossing Ability, Cultural and Racial Lines | |
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| Agency Adoption | |
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| Foster-Adopt Programs | |
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| Independent Adoptions | |
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| International Adoptions | |
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| How Do I Know If I Like Having Children in My Life? | |
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| Branches on Our Family Tree: Partners, Fathers, Siblings and Others | |
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| What's in a Name? | |
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| Beyond Our "Job Descriptions" | |
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| Fathers and Other Men in Our Lives | |
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| Fathers via Marriage | |
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| Donors: Anonymous or Known? | |
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| Fathers via Chosen Family | |
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| Father Fantasies | |
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| Male Role Models | |
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| Changing Relationships | |
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| Extended Family: From "Goddess-Parents" to Grandparents | |
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| The Significance of Siblings | |
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| New Visions | |
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| Coming Out to Our Children and Families | |
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| Defining Our Terms: Coming Out, Heterosexism and Homophobia | |
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| The Advantages of Coming Out to Our Children | |
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| Intimacy vs. Secrecy | |
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| Open Communication | |
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| Self-Esteem | |
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| The Risks of Coming Out to Our Children | |
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| How to Come Out to Children | |
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| "But What's a Lesbian?": Coming Out to Young Children | |
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| "What If She Hates Me?": Considerations with Adolescents | |
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| Coming Out to Adult Children | |
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| Coming Out Transgendered | |
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| Navigating in the World: Our Children's Issues | |
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| Full Circle: Coming Out to Our Family of Origin | |
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| When Lesbian Becomes Parent | |
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| When Parent Becomes Lesbian | |
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| Engaged Parenting: Communication and Conflict Resolution | |
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| Caring Communication | |
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| Listening So Children Will Talk | |
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| Talking So Children Will Listen | |
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| Setting Limits | |
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| Resolving Conflicts Constructively | |
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| Parents as Models | |
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| Resolving Conflicts with Young Children | |
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| Sibling Rivalry | |
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| Resolving Conflicts with Adolescents | |
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| The Tradition of Family Meetings | |
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| When to Get Help | |
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| Helping Our Children Through Loss and Divorce | |
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| The Stages of Grief | |
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| Supporting Your Child Through the Grieving Process | |
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| Helping Your Child Face Death | |
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| Death of a Child | |
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| Divorce | |
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| Navigating Divorce: The Challenges for Parents | |
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| What Divorce Does to Kids: Short Term | |
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| What Divorce Does to Kids: Long Term | |
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| Telling Your Child About Divorce | |
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| Lesbian Divorce | |
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| Confronting Racism and Building Rainbows | |
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| How Racist Are We? | |
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| Defining Our Terms | |
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| How Racism Affects Individuals | |
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| How Racism Affects Families | |
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| Thinking About Adoption and Race | |
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| Living in an Interracial Adoptive Family | |
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| "You Picked Me Out!": How Children Perceive Race and Adoption | |
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| Interracial Couples with Children | |
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| Raising Bias-Free Children | |
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| Building Self-Esteem and Positive Racial Identity | |
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| Confronting Racist Comments | |
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| When Your Child Practices Racism | |
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| When Your Child Experiences Racism | |
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| Walking Our Talk | |
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| Celebrating Our Lives: New Family Traditions | |
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| Reclaiming Rituals and Building Traditions | |
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| Everyday Rituals | |
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| Earthly Delights | |
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| Holiday Celebrations | |
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| LGBT Pride Holidays and Celebrations | |
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| Spur-of-the-Moment Gatherings | |
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| Birthdays and Rites of Passage | |
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| While We're Apart | |
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| Death | |
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| Creating Your Family Traditions | |
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| Parenting Our Children as They Grow | |
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| At the Very Beginning: Pregnancy and Childbirth | |
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| Great Expectations | |
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| A Pregnancy Preview | |
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| Getting Support | |
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| A Word for Adoptive Parents-to-Be | |
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| Days in the Lives of Pregnant Lesbians | |
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| Childbirth | |
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| Getting Quality Prenatal Care | |
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| Birthing Issues for the Pregnant Mother | |
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| ... and Her Partner | |
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| Labor Preparation: From Birthing Classes to Popsicles | |
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| Giving Birth at a Hospital | |
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| At a Birthing Center | |
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| A Home Birth | |
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| Miscarriage and Stillbirth | |
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| Your New Baby: The First Eighteen Months | |
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| Development Guideposts | |
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| Newborn to Six Months: Pee, Poop, Tears ... and Smiles | |
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| Six to Eighteen Months: Learning Through Movement | |
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| Parenting Issues | |
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| Who Does What? | |
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| Family and Friends: Help or Hindrance? | |
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| Out in the World | |
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| Child-care Choices | |
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| Safety | |
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| Parenting the Toddler: Eighteen Months to Thirty-Six Months | |
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| Development Guideposts | |
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| Physical Skills | |
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| Cognitive Advances | |
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| Psychological | |
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| Social Development | |
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| Parenting Issues | |
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| Becoming Independent | |
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| "I Go Potty!" | |
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| The Gentle Art of Discipline | |
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| She Said ... She Said: Being Consistent as a Couple | |
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| Support Groups and Play Groups | |
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| Out in the World | |
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| Toddler "Outings" | |
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| Out at Work | |
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| Couple Time | |
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| The Emerging Child: Three to Six Years | |
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| Development Guideposts | |
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| Spirals of Change | |
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| Physical Skills | |
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| Cognitive Advances | |
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| Emotional | |
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| Social Development | |
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| Gender and Sexuality | |
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| Parenting Issues | |
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| Moms as Mirrors | |
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| The "Why" Years | |
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| Out in the World | |
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| Structured Environments: Preschool and Kindergarten | |
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| Safety | |
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| Religious Groups | |
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| International and Interracial Adoptions | |
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| Time Out for Relationships | |
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| You and Your Partner | |
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| Educating Your Extended Family | |
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| Logic and Rules; Fairness and Morals: Six to Ten Years | |
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| Development Guideposts | |
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| The Logical Child | |
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| Rules and Moral Reasoning | |
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| Emotional | |
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| Social Development | |
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| Physical Skills | |
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| The Playing's the Thing | |
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| Parenting Issues | |
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| Playing by the Rules | |
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| Values--Yours, Mine and Ours | |
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| Vacations Without the Kids | |
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| Out in the World | |
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| Sports | |
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| School | |
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| Sex Education | |
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| The World Wide Web | |
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| Moving and Making Friends | |
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| The Journey of Adolescence: Not Necessarily a Nightmare | |
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| Four Myths About Adolescence | |
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| Adolescent Development: An Overview | |
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| Early, Late or on Time | |
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| Skills: Now You See Them, Now You Don't | |
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| Raising Boys ... and Raising Girls | |
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| The Damaging Messages Our Daughters Hear | |
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| Putting Your Own Adolescence in Perspective | |
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| Keeping Adolescents Safe | |
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| Shifting the Parenting Gears | |
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| Engaged Parenting ... Adolescent-Style | |
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| On the Road to Adulthood: Ten to Fourteen Years | |
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| Development Guideposts | |
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| Physical Changes | |
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| Sexual Awakening | |
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| Intellectual and Moral Development | |
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| Emotional Growth | |
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| Is This Problem Serious? | |
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| Depression | |
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| Suicide | |
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| Eating Disorders | |
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| Parenting Issues | |
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| Separation and Independence | |
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| School and Social Life: Get Involved or Steer Clear? | |
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| Independence and Identity: Fourteen to Eighteen Years | |
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| Development Guideposts | |
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| Intellectual and Moral Development | |
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| Emotional Growth | |
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| The Social Scene | |
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| The Golden Age of Friendship | |
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| Parenting Issues | |
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| Is Your Teen's Having a Job Good or Bad? | |
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| Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll | |
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| Is This Problem Serious? | |
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| Drug and Alcohol Problems | |
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| The Academic Slide | |
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| Other Behavior Problems | |
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| Stepping into New Roles: Our Adult Children | |
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| The Launching Years | |
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| Family Occasions: Fun or Fearful? | |
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| Meeting Your Child's Partner | |
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| The Challenge of Weddings | |
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| From Moms to Grandmoms | |
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| Hey, Mom, I'm Home Again | |
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| Resources | |
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| Appendices | |
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| Second-Parent Adoption | |
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| Alternative Insemination and Infertility Workups | |
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| Sample Parenting Agreement | |
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| The Test of Twelve | |
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| Notes | |
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| General Bibliography | |
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| Selected Bibliography | |
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| Index | |
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| Acknowledgments | |
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| About the Authors | |